Destiny
For each and every person, there is a destination to which they are bound in their lifetime. In addition, no two people can play the same role. We are in the process of creating our destination every minute of the day via our decisions and interactions. Each and every one of us is born with an intrinsic series of dynamics existing within our unique potential - our personality - which we enact throughout our lives accordingly.
I am again at a crossroads, faced with options with ambiguous pros and cons. I committed to "going with my gut", but find my gut is as confused as my mind when faced with the actual options. I get envious of imaginary people who have some innate structure for seeing all options as opportunities. I envy true optimists who see experience and wisdom in every/any road taken. My less rational parts cling to the idea that there is a correct choice, a path that will really crack open the world for me to explore. I still wish for things I don't really believe exist. Is that hope? Is that self destructive? I know enough now to realize that everyone struggles. Confidence does not mean certainty and ambivalence doesn't mean lack of focus or ambition. I know this viscerally and yet still have ridiculous nostalgia for the time when I thought confidence, ambition and focus would yield the BEST plan ever. I will continue forward,a s there really is no other option. I struggle to embrace whatever folly may result from the best laid plans.
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