"If you trust in Nature, in the small Things that hardly anyone sees and that can so suddenly become huge, immeasurable; if you have this love for what is humble and try very simply, as someone who serves, to win the confidence of what seems poor: then everything will become easier for you, more coherent and somehow more reconciling, not in your conscious mind perhaps, which stays behind, astonished, but in your innermost awareness, awakeness, and knowledge. You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
I have just spent some time, the last times presumably with the people I have met in AZ. I drove off thinking what if it was all a terrible failure? A mistake that cost me a year and half of my life....I should not have worried. For such a long time I have struggled with fear and envy of people who seem certain of things. I struggle with listening to my own internal voice. I have issues of faith, only not the kind pondered by philosophers or poets or religious folks. I struggle with having faith that living your life true to what you believe is enough. period. I was reminded of that this week. Hopefully I can begin anew. Thank you AZ. I wouldn't be near where and who I am without you.
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