"When we commit ourselves to paying attention in an open way, without falling prey to our own likes and dislikes, opinions and prejudices, projections and expectations, new possibilities open up and we have a chance to free ourselves from the straitjacket of unconsciousness."
So as I attempt to explore in a non judgmental way, the many crags and crevices of my mental landscape I am truly surprised but what I find there. More disturbing is what it looks like when I honestly consider how coping mechanisms/perceptions/fears manifest in how I walk through the world. I previously imagined myself to be a honest forthright person. No bullshit etc.
That is a joke. Except not funny at all. Really kind of depressing and I know I am supposed to be doing this in a non judgmental way, but there is absolutely a voice in my head now saying "Tsk, Tsk all the lifetime wasted that you could have been living without this (fear/misperception/faulty expectation). I'm thinking its a long ass way from here to true compassion for me.