Intimacy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "The main forms of intimacy are emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Intellectual intimacy, familiarity with a person's culture and interests, is common among friends. Members of religious or philosophic groups may also perceive a 'spiritual intimacy' in their commonality. Some describe intimacy with the homonymous 'into me see'.
Intimacy can also be identified as knowing someone in depth, knowing many different aspects of a person or knowing how they would respond in different situations, because of the many experiences you've shared with them."
So I signed up with a matchmaker. Part of my list of committing to my new life in my new city. I felt odd leaving the office, like it was a doctor's appointment or something. I suppose I am way past imagining it will just "happen". Still, I feel to old to still be wrestling with solitude vs the need for companionship. I'm not sure when I think I should have figured this stuff out and I try not to be jealous of my friends who have their companions, but still, I'll sit at my window wondering how it is possible that I feel no more clear on it now than I did 5 years ago. What on earth have I been doing? I mean I know what I have been doing, but I really did think that time would teach all sorts of inner knowledge. It doesn't. I just paid money to a matchmaker because I think I want companionship and I'm still terrified that being with someone means having to be a "better" (nicer, funnier, sweeter, more attentive yadda yadda yadda) version of me. Because even though I know some crazy ass bitches who are totally in love I still imagine my set of personality traits to somehow be inherently unlovable. It's ridiculous. I'm too old to be saying I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit...people like me. Ugh.