Friday, February 08, 2008
KillMeNOWPleezeThanks
Now they print this chick. Nothing makes my heart warmer than seeing a woman in print decide that because they really feel something, it must in fact be true. If I'm not worried, I'm in denial? Seriously? Can you really not imagine a life narrative where a person, female or male, would be happy and satisfied with the non standard narrative? This does not make me a liar, it makes you an unimaginative moron.
I know women in this age bracket who don't want to be alone. They want to get married and are very aware that marriage is a contract with imperfections and significant, confusing compromises. They are not waiting for their soul mate, they are hoping to meet someone they like enough to settle for.
It hasn't anything to do with feminism. Modern life demands more energy out us than we often have to give. We are still learning how to prioritize what we spend our energy on, but anyone who is complaining about that being their issue is ignorant. Feminism has never been about women or men having to be alone. Humans are social animals and seek companionship in almost all situations. What does wanting a partner/companion/spouse have to do with feminism? Seriously, who the fuck told you that to be a feminist meant having unrealistic ideas about marriage and what it takes to make a life partnership work? That makes you an idiot, not feminism a faulty premise. OK, done now.
"To the outside world, of course, we still call ourselves feminists and insist — vehemently, even — that we’re independent and self-sufficient and don’t believe in any of that damsel-in-distress stuff, but in reality, we aren’t fish who can do without a bicycle, we’re women who want a traditional family. And despite growing up in an era when the centuries-old mantra to get married young was finally (and, it seemed, refreshingly) replaced by encouragement to postpone that milestone in pursuit of high ideals (education! career! but also true love!), every woman I know — no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure — feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.
Oh, I know — I’m guessing there are single 30-year-old women reading this right now who will be writing letters to say that the women I know aren’t widely representative, that I’ve been co-opted by the cult of the feminist backlash, and basically, that I have no idea what I’m talking about. And all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying. In fact, take a good look in the mirror and try to convince yourself that you’re"
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Cosmic Finger Taps Our Galaxy's Shoulder - Yahoo! News
This extremity of hydrogen gas is actually the pointy end of the so-called Leading Arm of gas that streams ahead of two irregular galaxies called the Large and Small Magellanic Clouds."
Sexism is still OK
Goodbye to the double standard . . .
—Hillary is too ballsy but too womanly, a Snow Maiden who’s emotional, and so much a politician as to be unfit for politics.
—She’s “ambitious” but he shows “fire in the belly.” (Ever had labor pains?)
—When a sexist idiot screamed “Iron my shirt!” at HRC, it was considered amusing; if a racist idiot shouted “Shine my shoes!” at BO, it would’ve inspired hours of airtime and pages of newsprint analyzing our national dishonor.
—Young political Kennedys—Kathleen, Kerry, and Bobby Jr.—all endorsed Hillary. Senator Ted, age 76, endorsed Obama. If the situation were reversed, pundits would snort “See? Ted and establishment types back her, but the forward-looking generation backs him.” [...]
Goodbye to the toxic viciousness . . .
Carl Bernstein's disgust at Hillary’s “thick ankles.” Nixon-trickster Roger Stone’s new Hillary-hating 527 group, “Citizens United Not Timid” (check the capital letters). John McCain answering “How do we beat the bitch?" with “Excellent question!” Would he have dared reply similarly to “How do we beat the black bastard?” For shame.
Goodbye to the HRC nutcracker with metal spikes between splayed thighs. If it was a tap-dancing blackface doll, we would be righteously outraged—and they would not be selling it in airports. Shame.
Goodbye to the most intimately violent T-shirts in election history, including one with the murderous slogan “If Only Hillary had married O.J. Instead!” Shame.
Goodbye to Comedy Central’s “Southpark” featuring a storyline in which terrorists secrete a bomb in HRC’s vagina. I refuse to wrench my brain down into the gutter far enough to find a race-based comparison. For shame.
Goodbye to the sick, malicious idea that this is funny. This is not “Clinton hating,” not “Hillary hating.” This is sociopathic woman-hating. If it were about Jews, we would recognize it instantly as anti-Semitic propaganda; if about race, as KKK poison. Hell, PETA would go ballistic if such vomitous spew were directed at animals. Where is our sense of outrage—as citizens, voters, Americans?
Goodbye to the news-coverage target-practice . . .
The women’s movement and Media Matters wrung an apology from MSNBC’s Chris Matthews for relentless misogynistic comments (www.womensmediacenter.com). But what about NBC’s Tim Russert’s continual sexist asides and his all-white-male panels pontificating on race and gender? Or CNN’s Tony Harris chuckling at “the chromosome thing” while interviewing a woman from The White House Project? And that’s not even mentioning Fox News.
[...]
Women have endured sex/race/ethnic/religious hatred, rape and battery, invasion of spirit and flesh, forced pregnancy; being the majority of the poor, the illiterate, the disabled, of refugees, caregivers, the HIV/AIDS afflicted, the powerless. We have survived invisibility, ridicule, religious fundamentalisms, polygamy, teargas, forced feedings, jails, asylums, sati, purdah, female genital mutilation, witch burnings, stonings, and attempted gynocides. We have tried reason, persuasion, reassurances, and being extra-qualified, only to learn it never was about qualifications after all. We know that at this historical moment women experience the world differently from men—though not all the same as one another—and can govern differently, from Elizabeth Tudor to Michele Bachelet and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.
We remember when Shirley Chisholm and Patricia Schroeder ran for this high office and barely got past the gate—they showed too much passion, raised too little cash, were joke fodder. Goodbye to all that. (And goodbye to some feminists so famished for a female president they were even willing to abandon women’s rights in backing Elizabeth Dole.)
Friday, February 01, 2008
End of Days?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the Anthropocene.
From "Are we now living in the Anthropocene?":
A case can be made for its consideration as a formal epoch in that, since the start of the Industrial Revolution, Earth has endured changes sufficient to leave a global stratigraphic signature distinct from that of the Holocene or of previous Pleistocene interglacial phases, encompassing novel biotic, sedimentary, and geochemical change. These changes, although likely only in their initial phases, are sufficiently distinct and robustly established for suggestions of a Holocene-Anthropocene boundary in the recent historical past to be geologically reasonable.
Titanic Shift
"At least $2.4 trillion worth of securities, that is $2,400 billion (€ 1.64 trillion) are at risk to the financial insurance monoline downgrades. This is the early phase of the most severe financial crisis the United States has faced in its entire history, vastly paling 1929. It is now inevitable that the US Federal government will soon be forced to enter the “financial guarantee” business, assuming the obligations of municipal bond from the “monolines” and mortgage-backed securities insurance."
Hundreds of US financial players – from small hedge funds to the major money center banks – with complex books of derivative trades, now have a very serious problem. Their “hedged books” contain supposedly offsetting risk exposures that were to have created a reasonable portfolio risk profile. The breakdown in Wall Street finance has transformed these highly leveraged “books” into essentially unmanageable “toxic waste” and financial land mines. The heart of the securitization process has been to make financial exposure less and less transparent. In good times, few cared. Now everyone cares. Banks dare not to trade with other banks fearing unknown risks.
Gout is hot.
Men who consume two or more sugary soft drinks a day have an 85% higher risk of gout compared with those who drink less than one a month, a study suggests.
Cases in the US have doubled in recent decades and it seems fructose, a type of sugar, may be to blame, the British Medical Journal study reports."
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Treasury to sell $22 billion in debt - Stocks & economy- msnbc.com
The department said it will auction $13 billion in 10-year notes on Feb. 6 and $9 billion in 30-year bonds on Feb. 7. The $22 billion being raised is slightly higher than the $18 billion raised three months ago."
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Who are these people?
No one I know went into marriage thinking this shit:
Some guys might not realize this, but when most women get married they usually imagine cozy evenings by a fire, sharing their hopes and dreams with the men they love.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
They are just noticing this?
Unlike the building blocks of the conventional economy - factories and firms, widgets and workers, stocks and bonds - these new financial arrangements are difficult to value, much less analyze. The money caught up in this web is now many times larger than the world's gross domestic product, and much of it exists outside the purview of regulators."
....
But today, increasingly, a new generation of derivatives doesn't trade on markets at all. These so-called over-the-counter derivatives are highly customized agreements struck in private between two parties. No one else necessarily knows about such investments because they exist off the books, and don't show up in the reports or balance sheets of the parties who signed them.
Who the fuck didn't think this would lead to corruption and eventual market collapse?
Friday, January 25, 2008
Dammit!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Ah, now the schaundenfraude begins
Cheney stumping for Immunity
and if you believe the pessimists, a bigger bubble popping to com.
Hang on to your hat folks. This is going to get messy.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A New, Global Oil Quandary: Costly Fuel Means Costly Calories - New York Times
In some poor countries, desperation is taking hold. Just in the last week, protests have erupted in Pakistan over wheat shortages, and in Indonesia over soybean shortages. Egypt has banned rice exports to keep food at home, and China has put price controls on cooking oil, grain, meat, milk and eggs."
Pigeons are roosting
Monday, January 21, 2008
Anam Cara
I think I had an unidentified fear that the fact that I was moving again alone meant that this is the way it will be forever. Instead it turned into this amazing reminder of how incredibly not alone I am in the world. IT was as they say, beautiful.
What is Anam Cara: "According to Celtic spiritual tradition, the soul shines all around the body like a luminous cloud. When you are very open ~ appreciative and trusting ~ with another person, your two souls flow together. This deeply felt bond with another person means you have found your anam cara, or 'Soul Friend.' Your anam cara always beholds your light and beauty, and accepts you for who you truly are. In Celtic spirituality, the anam cara friendship awakens the fullness and mystery of your life. You are joined in an ancient and eternal union with humanity that cuts across all barriers of time, convention, philosophy, and definition. When you are blessed with an anam cara, the Irish believe, you have arrived at that most sacred place: ~HOME~"
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Yup, you are reading that correctly.
The change may have occurred already, not least because US markets are beset by credit woes, according to research by McKinsey Global Institute, a think-tank affiliated to the consultancy.
'We think the differential growth rates are so significant that it is quite likely Europe has overtaken the US,' said Diana Farrell, author of the report.
'They are now neck and neck, which means exchange rates are very important. It is a real change.'"
FER fUCKS SAKE, SERIOUSLY?
While it has only killed some 100 to 200 people annually over the past 20 years, plague has appeared in new countries in recent decades and is now shifting into Africa, Michael Begon, an ecologist at the University of Liverpool and colleagues said."
Monday, January 14, 2008
How the World Works: Globalization, Globalization Blogs - Salon.com
More than a whiff of poststructuralist angst emanates from 'Archaeology of the Crisis,' a report released this week by Moody's, the credit rating agency. The gist of the six-page report is that our current financial system has become so complex we no longer have any hope of truly understanding, or pricing, the real risk embodied in the complex financial instruments that tie the world's financial market participants together."
Risk traceability has declined, probably forever. It is extremely unlikely that in today's markets we will ever know on a timely basis where every risk lies.
This is a favorite theme of How the World Works, but we were still a trifle shocked to see such a message from Moody's. We've sure come a long way from the days when any critique of the "system" was met with a lecture on how innovation and risk dispersion had made global financial markets more stable. What a difference a meltdown makes! Remember, this downbeat assessment comes from an agency whose explicit market role is to evaluate risk -- a job that most observers now think Moody's and its brethren completely muffed. But instead of apologizing and promising to do better, Moody's is throwing up its hands in existential despair and declaring that, dangit, it's just too darn hard. Maybe even impossible!
Moving again
I have, I think always, one of the most persistent cases of wanderlust I've known. To me, life has always felt ephemeral and so somehow moving around actually seemed to give me more grounding. More sense of being aligned with the essential nature of things. But this weekend, as I took stock and tried to organize my relatively meager possessions I was gripped by fear and anxiety of being in limbo again. Apparently, I have no issue with non-stop travel, but I fear not having a place with my stuff. I literally feared that while my "stuff" was nowhere or somewhere in between, the link between me and the real world could be much more easily severed and thus I could be evaporated somehow. It has been a while since I have had such a visceral reaction to life that is so clearly "irrational".
So I wrote the landlord and asked if I could get the keys a couple of days early. That way I cna bring car loads of certain stuff over before the move which will give me stuff in both places while my "stuff" is in limbo. This I am convinced will be enough to maintain the link between me and the real world. I might be a little bit crazy.
Citigroup could write down up to $24 billion: report - Yahoo! News
The report said the plans will be unveiled on Tuesday, when it reports its fourth-quarter results.
Citigroup is widely expected to report a quarterly loss and announce big lay-offs as it looks to cut costs in a tough business environment."
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Mysterious crowd suddenly stopped Bhutto's car, officer says - Yahoo! News
Bhutto, apparently thinking she was greeting her supporters, emerged through the sunroof of the bulletproof car to wave.
It was Shah's job to clear the way for the motorcade. But 10 feet from where he was standing, a man in the crowd wearing a jacket and sunglasses raised his arm and shot at the former prime minister. 'I jumped to overpower him,' the deputy police superintendent said later. 'A mighty explosion took place soon afterwards.'"
Daily Kos: Hospital execs slam UnitedHealth: "sociopathic willingness to ignore laws"
"DEATH TO YOU AND ME BY A MILLION CUTS AND 'LITTLE FRAUDS'
First, we must recognize some facts: HMOs defraud their individual members out of $1,000 here, $2,000 there in specific instances. No single member is likely to sue over such small amounts, as aggravated as they may be. But the total value to the HMO forthese 'little' frauds is MILLIONS of dollars. Hospitals, particularly those like the ones I represent, can little afford to sue individually. Litigationis expensive -- not just in legal fees, but in the diversion of hospital administrative resources. On top of this, our state regulators are 'paper tigers,' or understaffed, or simply lack enforcement tools and a proper legislative framework."
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Women Are Never Front-Runners - New York Times
Monday, January 07, 2008
SpaceCollective: recent activity
SpaceCollective: recent activity:
"Civilization is an experiment, a very recent way of life in the human career, and it has a habit of walking into what I am calling progress traps. A small village on good land beside a river is a good idea; but when the village grows into a city and paves over the good land, it becomes a bad idea. While prevention might have been easy, a cure may be impossible: a city isn't easily moved. This human inability to foresee—or watch out for—long-range consequences may be inherent to our kind, shaped by millions of years when we lived from hand to mouth by hunting and gathering. It may also be little more than a mix of inertia, greed, and foolishness encouraged by the shape of the social pyramid. The concentration of power at the top of large-scale societies gives the elite a vested interest in the status quo; they continue to prosper in darkening times long after the environment and general populace begins to suffer.
- Ronald Wright, A Short History Of Progress, pages 108-109"
Friday, January 04, 2008
Crisis may make 1929 look a 'walk in the park' - Telegraph
"'The kind of upheaval observed in the international money markets over the past few months has never been witnessed in history,' says Thomas Jordan, a Swiss central bank governor.
'The sub-prime mortgage crisis hit a vital nerve of the international financial system,' he says."
Thursday, January 03, 2008
FDA to clear cloned livestock for consumers: report - Yahoo! News
The FDA had previously asked producers of cloned livestock not to sell food products from such animals pending its ruling on their safety, the Journal said on its Web site.
The decision would come after more than six years of wrestling with the question and would be a milestone for a small cadre of biotech companies that want to make a business out of producing cloned farm animals.
(Reporting by Yinka Adegoke; Editing by Tomasz Janowski)"
Older women 'becoming breadwinners'
Commissioned by Nivea, the study found that not only did 68 per cent of females within this age group provide most of their household's income, but 29 per cent provided all of it.
Many of the women surveyed expressed a desire to have more support at work to help them perform their roles, with 27 per cent wanting the option of working from home and 26 per cent wishing to see better support from their employer generally."
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton
Now, a source at the Enquirer has leaked us the letter Jamie Lynn's lawyers sent them at the time.
It's priceless!
It reads:
“Ms. Spears is a devout Christian with a spotless reputation, who lives in accordance with the highest moral and ethical standards in accordance with her faith.
There is no “rumor” concerning Ms. Spears’ (non-existent) pregnancy, except perhaps for the baseless “rumor” just now being created by the National Enquirer.
Ms. Spears is not pregnant. It is pathetic for the National Enquirer to attempt to create a wholly baseless “rumor” that Ms. Spears is pregnant, so it can run a malicious story and false story which would be emotionally devastating to a morally upright 16 year old girl.”
Ha ha ha ha!!!!!"
Accept the Pain
So I sat there, when the pain came and my breath got short and that potent debilitating mix of anger, frustration, hopelessness threatens to overwhelm my system's ability to process. And I tried to not process, to not think but instead to accept it as real and mine. The quest continues....
Several concepts are central to Hinduism:
1. The first is karma, which is the principle that governs the unfolding of events and is based for a person on the integrity with which he has lived previous lives. Karma is not imposed by an outside, punitive force, or God, but is rather an “exercise of the moral law in the universe,” these laws being inherently within the universe. Karma is encompassed by God/The Ultimate, as is each person’s soul. As both karma and souls are part of God/The Ultimate, karma is not external to the individual, but each is a part of the same greater whole.
2. A related belief is samsara, the process of successive rebirths until one reaches moksha, the complete release from the cycle of rebirths.
3. Hindu traditions promote living with integrity, causing no harm, and progressing further on a spiritual path by living according to dharma, stage-of-life–appropriate guidelines or “patterns of life,” or by one’s “sacred duty.” A central life’s work is to become detached from overinvolvement in the world that’s apparent to us, which is seen as illusory and temporary, and turn toward God/The Ultimate. Many of these concepts are shared by or are similar to concepts in other eastern religions, for example, Buddhism.
Clusterfucked
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Oh yeah this bodes well
The sale, which would give China about a 9.9 percent stake in one of Wall Street’s biggest investment banks, is the latest example of a foreign investor shoring up a Western financial firm in the wake of the housing meltdown."
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Screwing the pooch
Closing the mortgage barn door
An important job qualification for a Federal Reserve chairman is the ability to express oneself in a reserved manner. But even by that standard, Ben Bernanke's official statement today accompanying the Fed's announcement of proposed new guidelines for mortgage lenders is impressive.
A highlight:
As the mortgage market has become more segmented and as risk has become more dispersed, market discipline has in some cases broken down and the incentives to follow prudent lending procedures have, at times, eroded.
With that quote ringing in your ears, I strongly recommend readers interested in learning more about how the subprime mortgage embarrassment blossomed to read an ongoing special report put together by Bloomberg News. Part 1, by Mark Pittman, published Monday, zeroes in on a group of Wall Street investment bankers who designed a new subprime mortgage derivatives contract in 2005. Part 2, by Bob Ivry, gets up close and personal with Quick Loan Funding Corp., a subprime lender in Costa Mesa, Calif. that worked overtime making loans to bad credit risks -- in order to satisfy demand from Wall Street (Citigroup in particular) for high-yielding subprime debt.
One quote from Quick Loan's principal, Daniel Sadek, stands out:
"If the loans were so bad, why did Wall Street keep buying them?'' Sadek says.
Elsewhere, Sadek notes that his company made most of its money selling its loans to banks -- who repackaged them into risk-disguising securities that were then resold across the planet.
This is a point that cannot be stressed enough, but keeps getting lost in the overwhelming media coverage that the ongoing housing bust is currently commanding. Incentives to follow prudent lending procedures did not "erode," as Bernanke put it. Incentives to follow imprudent lending procedures flooded the market. Wall Street is at least as guilty, and possibly more so, for creating this mess as the mortgage lenders who made all the dodgy loans and the speculators looking to make a killing or unwise home buyers who took on loans that they couldn't afford. Wall Street created the demand for those loans.
Rape and Pillage
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
First they come for...
Saw this documentary last night. deeply disturbing.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Steven Pearlstein - It's Not 1929, but It's the Biggest Mess Since - washingtonpost.com
"And looking across the sector, J.P. Morgan's CDO analysts estimate that there will be at least $300 billion in eventual credit losses, the bulk of which is still hidden from public view. That includes at least $30 billion in additional write-downs at major banks and investment houses, and much more at hedge funds that, for the most part, remain in a state of denial."
As part of the unwinding process, the rating agencies are in the midst of a massive and embarrassing downgrading process that will force many banks, pension funds and money market funds to sell their CDO holdings into a market so bereft of buyers that, in one recent transaction, a desperate E-Trade was able to get only 27 cents on the dollar for its highly rated portfolio.
Meanwhile, banks that are forced to hold on to their CDO assets will be required to set aside much more of their own capital as a financial cushion. That will sharply reduce the money they have available for making new loans.
And it doesn't stop there. CDO losses now threaten the AAA ratings of a number of insurance companies that bought CDO paper or insured against CDO losses. And because some of those insurers also have provided insurance to investors in tax-exempt bonds, states and municipalities have decided to pull back on new bond offerings because investors have become skittish.
If all this sounds like a financial house of cards, that's because it is. And it is about to come crashing down, with serious consequences not only for banks and investors but for the economy as a whole.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Fitness trumps fatness in longevity study - Yahoo! News
"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - When it comes to living longer, fitness may trump fatness, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday. Men and women who were fit, as judged by a treadmill test, but were overweight or obese had a lower mortality risk than those of normal weight but low fitness levels, the study in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed."
Social mores
Other personal calamities are far easier to understand. These are the ones that challenge some of my deeply held notions around how much control we really do have over our lives. There is so little understood about how the psyche works combined with the infinite complexity that is the family you are born into and the people you meet along the way who color the way you operate in the world. I do believe that there exists some level of universality, but I am at a loss as to where or what the universality is. Even something seemingly obvious like the pursuit of happiness gets awfully fuzzy when you get out in the world and start listening to people and what they say motivates them.
I usually think complexity is beautiful and it drives me to observe further, to try to ponder from different view points and to believe that if I could really see certain threads that connect, I might actually begin to accurately perceive life. I now am starting to think and feel that "accurate" perception is a faulty framework to begin with and this greatly challenges my desire to keep pondering the world around me.
Limbo-from Sunday's flight
I was at meeting (Society of Friends silent worship) this morning. A woman got up to speak about the importance of being a lamb in terms of faith. That you have to believe that the universe/light/shepherd will guide you better than your ego can.There are many long running themes in my life that I pay particular attention to. This idea of obedience to (fill in the blank) is the correct way to engage the universe and its "plans" for you has always been anathema to me. Instead of rejecting it outright though, I tried very hard to instead observe my visceral reaction to it and see if I couldn't understand why I find this idea so offensive. It was my first experience with the meditation approach that actually shifted in the moment how I was processing something. No real epiphanies, my mind went off in a tangent on why obedience to/faith in any external authority is useless. I then thought of the section of Eat, Pray Love where she walks through the idea that the way to the universal divinity is to go inward, not outward. I didn't engage my mind with this rebuttal although I am now trying to incorporate the possibility of an inward guide into my model.The approach to this is supposedly to accept the thinking mind as it is, but to try to observe it without judgment and with compassion. This is why I did not immediately try to rebut my mind's response to the obedience question. I was trying to observe the way it worked.
The funniest thought that happened was "what if I don't like the mind if I am successful in actually seeing it?"
Friday, November 30, 2007
Is pixie dust like original sin?
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Treasury Department is finalizing a plan with mortgage industry leaders that will hold interest payments steady for many subprime borrowers facing higher rates and possible foreclosure.
.....
"'Your purists are going to scream to high heaven that their contract is being altered, but your pragmatists are going to say, 'Do I want to reduce cash flow or see my Triple A-rated bond go south?' Pragmatists are going to do the deal,' Marta said.
He said it was 'hard to overstate the severity' of the effect of massive mortgage foreclosures on Wall Street, where exposure to subprime mortgages has been 'spread like pixie dust.'"
Implosion on its way
"'More than anything else, this borrowing represents a triumph of greed over fear.'
When you boil all the risks down to their essence, its all about reputation, as shown with the decision by BSC to bail out their wayward progeny. But there is a limit to the amount of capital which BSC or any prime broker can deploy to prop up the sagging market for CDOs. Look for the Fed to get involved in the CDO mess sooner rather than later, but hopefully before a major dealer is taken down. Just imagine what happens to the dollar and to the US financial markets if the Fed begins to accept this toxic waste as collateral on emergency discount window loans."
Mental Landscapes continued
So as I attempt to explore in a non judgmental way, the many crags and crevices of my mental landscape I am truly surprised but what I find there. More disturbing is what it looks like when I honestly consider how coping mechanisms/perceptions/fears manifest in how I walk through the world. I previously imagined myself to be a honest forthright person. No bullshit etc.
Well, hah.
That is a joke. Except not funny at all. Really kind of depressing and I know I am supposed to be doing this in a non judgmental way, but there is absolutely a voice in my head now saying "Tsk, Tsk all the lifetime wasted that you could have been living without this (fear/misperception/faulty expectation). I'm thinking its a long ass way from here to true compassion for me.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
California Dreaming!
"'Today the foreclosure crisis has the potential to break the back of our economy, as well as the backs of millions of American families, if we don't do something soon,' said Palmer, a Democrat, who serves as president of the mayors group.
The Global Insight report forecast U.S. homeowners would see property values fall by $1.2 trillion in 2008, with almost half of those overall losses coming in California. California property values are expected to drop by 16 percent in 2008, the report said, costing the most populous state almost $3 billion in property taxes.
The report said the weakening U.S. property market would have knocked some $676 billion from home values, but another $519 billion in losses could be tied directly to the financial problems facing borrowers unable to meet escalating monthly mortgage payments."
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Anger
In Buddhism, the five hindrances (Pali: pañca nīvaraṇāni)[1] are negative mental states that impede success with meditation (jhana) and lead away from enlightenment. These states are:
- Sensual desire (kamacchanda): Craving for pleasure to the senses.
- Anger or ill-will (byapada, vyapada): Feelings of malice directed toward others.
- Sloth, torpor and boredom (thina-middha): Half-hearted action with little or no concentration.
- Restlessness and worry (uddhacca-kukkacca): The inability to calm the mind.
- Doubt (vicikiccha): Lack of conviction or trust.
Which, you know, great. Elizabeth Gilbert made a point in on her website. She has an FAQ on the book and one of them is whether she felt selfish for tkaing the year off to focus on herself. In her answer she describes how everyone around her suffered because of her depression/anger/frustration/general unhappiness. This makes sense to me. I can see me getting angry at things people tell me that should in no way generate anger in me, but it does and then anything I say in response is affected by the anger. They know it, I know it and it leaves me feeling awful. So I am going to spend the time to try very hard to fix the anger. Wish me luck.
U.S. government tricks hide trillions in debt - Investing Insight - Sympatico / MSN Finance
"Some numbers don't add up But if you examine another figure, the gross U.S. federal debt, you'll see something strange.
First, the U.S. debt has increased in each of the past eight years, even in the two years when surpluses were reported. Second, the gross federal debt, which includes the obligations held by the Social Security and Medicare trust funds, has increased much faster than the deficits -- about $3.3 trillion over the same eight years.
That's $2 trillion more than the reported $1.3 trillion in deficits over the period. Can you spell 'Enron'? In other words, while the reported deficits averaged $164 billion over the past eight years, U.S. government debt increased an average of $418 billion a year.
That's a lot more than twice as much. How could this happen? Easy. The U.S. Treasury Department simply credits the Social Security, Medicare and other trust funds with interest payments in the form of new Treasury obligations. No cash is actually paid. The trust funds magically increase in value with a bookkeeping entry. It represents money the American government owes itself. So what happens if the funny money is taken away? When the imaginary interest payments are included, Social Security and Medicare are running at a tranquilizing surplus (that $181.5 billion mentioned earlier). But measure actual cash, and the surplus disappears.
Have we seen worse of mortgage crisis? - Yahoo! News
"Some 2 million homeowners hold $600 billion of subprime adjustable-rate mortgage loans, known as ARMs, that are due to reset at higher amounts during the next eight months. Subprime loans are those made to people with poor credit. Not all these mortgages are in trouble, but homeowners who default or fall behind on payments could cause an economic shock of a type never seen before.
Some of the nation's leading economic minds lay out a scenario that is frightening. Not only would the next wave of the mortgage crisis force people out of their homes, it might also spiral throughout the economy. The already severe housing slump would be exacerbated by even more empty homes on the market, causing prices to plunge by up to 40 percent in once-hot real estate spots such as California, Nevada and Florida. Builders like Chicago's Neumann Homes, which filed for bankruptcy protection this month, could go under.
The top 10 global banks, which repackage loans into exotic securities such as collateralized debt obligations, or CDOs, could suffer far greater write-offs than the $75 billion already taken this year. Massive job losses would curtail consumer spending that makes up two-thirds of the economy. The Labor Department estimates almost 100,000 financial services jobs related to credit and lending in the U.S. have already been lost, from local bank loan officers to traders dealing in mortgage-backed securities. Thousands of Americans who work in the housing industry could find themselves on the dole. And there's no telling how that would affect car dealers, retailers and others dependent on consumer paychecks.
Based on historical models, zero growth in the U.S. gross domestic product would take the current unemployment rate to 6.4 percent. That would wipe out about 3 million jobs from the economy, according to the Washington-based Economic Policy Institute.
Fresh Pain for the Uninsured - Yahoo! News
"Until recently her mother, Carolyn, who waits tables at the same roadside diner, sent Hot Spring $100 a month under the nonprofit hospital's longstanding zero-interest payment plan. Dial says she couldn't make payments herself because she spends more than $150 a month for other treatment and insulin.
Sophisticated Help
In October she learned that Hot Spring had transferred her account to a company called CompleteCare, one of the many small firms fueling the little-known medical debt revolution. Enticed by the enormous potential market of uninsured and poorly insured patients, financial giants such as General Electric (NYSE:GE - News), U.S. Bancorp (NYSE:USB - News), Capital One (NYSE:COF - News), and Citigroup (NYSE:C - News) are rapidly expanding in the field or joining the fray for the first time. CompleteCare informed Dial that under the complicated terms of her newly financed debt, her minimum monthly payment had shot up more than fourfold, to $455. Dial says she doesn't have anywhere close to that amount left over after rent, food, and other doctor visits: 'Every extra dime I have goes to paying medical bills.'"
Monday, November 12, 2007
Blackstone posts 3Q loss on IPO charges - Yahoo! News
"The mortgage black hole is worsening...it is deeper, darker, scarier than what the banks originally thought,' he told analysts during a conference call. 'My sense is they don't have a clear picture of how this will play out, and their confidence is low.'
James said the banks — pressured by massive writedowns from losses linked to subprime mortgages — will keep lending standards tight for the time being. He believes the market for leveraged loans, which buyout funds use to finance deals, appears to be picking up after a crippling summer."
Is Raising Kids a Fool's Game? - Yahoo! News
"Now that 'children no longer provide any economic benefit to their parents, but are rather costly impediments to material success, people well adapted to this new environment will tend not to reproduce,' Longman writes. 'And many others who are not so successful will imitate them, and for good reason.' Families might choose to have only one child so they can afford to splurge on one while maintaining their own comforts of living (um, that would be me)."
The problem, experts say, is that U.S. lawmakers and corporations aren't addressing many of the challenges facing families. Longman points to the continuing culture wars between work and family: "Everyone who wants to may join the paid labor force, but almost no one gets a family wage or enough help from government to defray the costs of raising children." He figures the critical moment will emerge during the next decade, "as millions of Baby Boomers start crashing past the boundaries of old age, and as today's teenagers find themselves saddled with massive student loans, rising taxes, and growing frustration over the difficulty of forming or affording a family."
The hope is that some savior will invent policies to ease parents' financial pain. "We need somebody somewhere to think of a new vision of what families can be," Skolnick says."People want to get past the family value wars."
Until then, as Longman puts it bluntly: "Child rearing is fast becoming a sucker's game. Though the psychic rewards remain, the economic returns to individual parents have largely disappeared, while the cost of parenthood is soaring."
Click here to join the debate on whether kids are worth the cost.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The uninvited guest: Chinese sub pops up in middle of U.S. Navy exercise, leaving military chiefs red-faced | the Daily Mail
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Minyanville - NEWS & VIEWS-Article
"5. What We Need Are More Fake Plastic Trees The New York Times this morning spells out what all this means pretty clearly: '[I]n an ominous portent for the national economy, Mr. Whittey has grown tight with his money. His home is worth far less than it was a year ago, and his equity has evaporated. And like many other involuntary adopters of a newly economical lifestyle, he can borrow no more.'"
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Bitch Ph.D.
FT.com / World - Rising food prices to hit consumption
"Poor countries are likely to have to cut food consumption after an “alarming” increase in their agricultural commodities bill, the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organisation warned on Wednesday.
The FAO said its biannual Food Outlook report that high and volatile prices of grains, such as wheat and maize, could curtail procurement in many countries."
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Fucking Vultures
"Now that big lenders are originating fewer mortgages, servicing revenues make up a greater percentage of earnings. Because servicers typically keep late fees and certain other charges assessed on delinquent or defaulted loans, 'a borrower's default can present a servicer with an opportunity for additional profit,' Ms. Porter said.
The amounts can be significant. Late fees accounted for 11.5 percent of servicing revenues in 2006 at Ocwen Financial, a big servicing company. At Countrywide, $285 million came from late fees last year, up 20 percent from 2005. Late fees accounted for 7.5 percent of Countrywide's servicing revenue last year.
But these are not the only charges borrowers face. Others include $145 in something called 'demand fees,' $137 in overnight delivery fees, fax fees of $50 and payoff statement charges of $60.
Property inspection fees can be levied every month or so, and fees can be imposed every two months to cover assessments of a home's worth. 'We're talking about millions and millions of dollars that mortgage servicers are extracting from debtors that I think are totally unlawful and illegal,' said O. Max Gardner III, a lawyer in Shelby, N.C., specializing in consumer bankruptcies. 'Somebody files a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, they make all their payments, get their discharge and three months later, they get a statement from their servicer for $7,000 in fees and charges incurred in bankruptcy but that were never applied for in court and never approved."
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Life as we know it
"Throughout their history, Quakers have refused to take oaths.
Their belief is that one should tell the truth at all times. Taking an oath implies that there are two types of truthfulness: one for ordinary life and another for special occasions."
A truthful life is elusive maybe impossible.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
70 punished in accidental B-52 flight - Yahoo! News
"he missiles were supposed to be taken to Louisiana, but the warheads were supposed to have been removed beforehand. A main reason for the error was that crews had decided not to follow a complex schedule under which the status of the missiles is tracked while they are disarmed, loaded, moved and so on, one official said on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak on the record.
The airmen replaced the schedule with their own 'informal' system, he said, though he didn't say why they did that nor how long they had been doing it their own way."
ATS Premium: Barksdale Missile Number Six: The Stolen Nuclear Weapon, page 1
"Conclusion Six nuclear weapons disappeared from Minot AFB in North Dakota.
Five nuclear weapons were discovered at Barksdale AFB in Louisiana.
Which leads to my chilling conclusion:
Someone, operating under a special chain of command within the United States Air Force, just stole a nuclear weapon."
Bigfoot Research Organization, yup
"RIDGWAY, Pa. - It's furry and walks on all fours. Beyond that, about the only thing certain about the critter photographed by a hunter's camera is that some people have gotten the notion it could be a Sasquatch, or bigfoot. Others say it's just a bear with a bad skin infection."
....
He contacted the Bigfoot Research Organization, which pursues reports of a legendary two-legged creature that some people believe lives in parts of the U.S. and Canada.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Daily Kos: John Edwards: The Moral Test of our Generation (major speech, full text)
"Companies like Wal-Mart lobby against inspecting containers entering our nation’s ports, even though expert after expert agrees that the likeliest way for a dirty bomb to enter the United States is through a container, because they believe their profits are more important than our safety.
What has become of America when America’s largest company lobbies against protecting America? Trade deals cost of millions of jobs. What do we get in return? Millions of dangerous Chinese toys in our children’s cribs laden with lead.
This is the price we are made to pay when trade agreements are decided based on how much they pad the profits for multinational corporations instead of what is best for America’s workers or the safety of America’s consumers. We have even gotten to the point where our children’s safety is potentially at risk because nearly half of the apple juice consumed by our children comes from apples grown in China. And Americans are kept in the dark because the corporate lobbyists have pushed back country of origin labeling laws again and again.
This is not the America I believe in."
Friday, October 26, 2007
American Tears - CommonDreams.org
"I read the news in a state of something like walking shock: seven soldiers wrote op-eds critical of the war — in The New York Times; three are dead, one shot in the head. A female soldier who was about to become a whistleblower, possibly about abuses involving taxpayers’ money: shot in the head. Pat Tillman, who was contemplating coming forward in a critique of the war: shot in the head. Donald Vance, a contractor himself, who blew the whistle on irregularities involving arms sales in Iraq — taken hostage FROM the U.S. Embassy BY U.S. soldiers and kept without recourse to a lawyer in a U.S. held-prison, abused and terrified for weeks — and scared to talk once he got home. Another whistleblower in Iraq, as reported in Vanity Fair: held in a trailer all night by armed contractors before being ejected from the country."
plans
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
cipher
In the course of my life I struggle with the attempting to "decode" the pursuits of my brain to those that might be interested in those pursuits. Some pursuits are well known, the concept and realization of power in society, the coming resource wars, the struggle with the inherent inefficiencies of emotions vs the need for experiential knowledge of how those emotions make us human.
Some things that I could never have hoped to explain I have since found elegantly depicted in books, art, comics and the insights of those I have had the opportunity to meet. Those moments of recognition of a thought tangent, an amoebic concept realized provide me with relief, comfort that what swirls is only a swirl because I have yet to happen upon the external realization of that swirl. I will also sometimes feel guilty that those depictions are almost never coming from me and thus in the comic scheme of things I am only a taker, never an enlightener. That guilt is partly what motivated me to start this blog. I thought if I took snippets of the things, information, images etc that find recognition in my swirl maybe it would be my own version of communication that someone else could recognize. I think it's fair to say that I am still a long way off, but here is another attempt regardless.
Recent events, some cumulative, some actually recent and visceral have forced a real necessity to work to align my internal model of "how things work" with how I interact with the world. I would prefer that part of my life work include truly walking through the world true to my perception the world I sometimes fear is really only in my head. I have had moments of real clarity in my life where the infinite connectivity is deeply obvious and operable. This is not one of those. I feel things that deeply conflict with my opaque sense of order. Irrational rage, disappointment, impossible connectivity and, to my complete surprise, no desire whatsoever to run from the conflict.
The moon is 94% full tonight, so maybe that is why. Maybe I really am not afraid anymore of the mess. Maybe I need to balance the impending doom of resource constraint, that threatens to eviscerate the painfully thin veil of civilization I have always known, with irrational hope and exuberance that by playing, participating in the mess we can escape a unimaginably dark fate.
So that is my plan tonight. I could quite possibly wither and retreat tomorrow. Right now, though, I am listening to Bruce Springsteen and working really hard to say fuck it and jump into the morass. There was a night in high school where someone got the bright idea to jump off the train track bridge into the reservoir. I felt terror then too and said fuck it and I jumped. It felt great and I remember smiling about it for months afterward. Of course there are those moments when I felt fear and said fuck it and ended up broken and bleeding on the rocks, but as much as that is true we have to remember the jumps that were great. There will always be fear, pain, confusion, anger and worse apathy. That is true. What the bitch is that those exist whether or not you ask for them. It's the exhilaration and joy you have to fight for. So fight.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Texas seminary espouses the gospel of gender inequality - The Boston Globe
"'If we love the Scripture, we must do it,' said Smith, who gave up her dreams of a career when her husband said it was time to have children. 'We must fit into this role. It's so much more important than our own personal happiness.'
More moderate Southern Baptists disagree, and they counter with their own biblical references. When Jesus dined at the home of two sisters, he praised Mary, who spent the evening studying his teachings, above Martha, who did chores. Elsewhere in the New Testament, the apostle Paul writes that 'there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ.'"
We are so screwed
Friday, October 19, 2007
Star-Telegram.com | 10/07/2007 | Nuke transportation story has explosive implications
"Last month, six W80-1 nuclear-armed AGM-129 advanced cruise missiles were flown from Minot Air Force Base, N.D., to Barksdale AFB in Louisiana and sat on the tarmac for 10 hours undetected.
Press reports initially cited the Air Force mistake of flying nuclear weapons over the United States in violation of Air Force standing orders and international treaties, while completely missing the more important major issues, such as how six nuclear cruise missiles got loose to begin with.
Opinion columns and editorials appeared in America's newspapers, some blasting the Air Force for flying nukes over the U.S. and some defending the Air Force procedure. None of the news reports focused on the real questions of our nuclear security.
Let me be very clear here: We are not talking about paintball cartridges or pellet gun ammo. We are talking nuclear weapons.
There is a strict chain of custody for all such weapons. Nuclear weapons handling is spelled out in great detail in Air Force regulations, to the credit of that service. Every person who orders the movement of these weapons, handles them, breaks seals or moves any nuclear weapon must sign off for tracking purposes."
Washington abuzz with talk of dragonfly spies - Technology - smh.com.au
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
It's really not OK
Thursday, October 11, 2007
The kids are all right
Common negative perceptions include that present-day Christianity is judgmental (87%), hypocritical (85%), old-fashioned (78%), and too involved in politics (75%) - representing large proportions of young outsiders who attach these negative labels to Christians. The most common favorable perceptions were that Christianity teaches the same basic ideas as other religions (82%), has good values and principles (76%), is friendly (71%), and is a faith they respect (55%).
Even among young Christians, many of the negative images generated significant traction. Half of young churchgoers said they perceive Christianity to be judgmental, hypocritical, and too political. One-third said it was old-fashioned and out of touch with reality.
Interestingly, the study discovered a new image that has steadily grown in prominence over the last decade. Today, the most common perception is that present-day Christianity is “anti-homosexual.” Overall, 91% of young non-Christians and 80% of young churchgoers say this phrase describes Christianity. As the research probed this perception, non-Christians and Christians explained that beyond their recognition that Christians oppose homosexuality, they believe that Christians show excessive contempt and unloving attitudes towards gays and lesbians. One of the most frequent criticisms of young Christians was that they believe the church has made homosexuality a “bigger sin” than anything else. Moreover, they claim that the church has not helped them apply the biblical teaching on homosexuality to their friendships with gays and lesbians.
Friday, October 05, 2007
In Basra, vigilantes wage deadly campaign against women - Yahoo! News
"BASRA, Iraq — Women in Basra have become the targets of a violent campaign by religious extremists, who leave more than 15 female bodies scattered around the city each month, police officers say.
Maj. Gen. Abdel Jalil Khalaf , the commander of Basra's police, said Thursday that self-styled enforcers of religious law threatened, beat and sometimes shot women who they believed weren't sufficiently Muslim.
'This is a new type of terror that Basra is not familiar with,' he said. 'These gangs represent only themselves, and they are far outside religious, forgiving instructions of Islam.'
Often, he said, the 'crime' is no more than wearing Western clothes or not wearing a head scarf.
Before the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, Iraqi women had had rights enshrined in the country's constitution since 1959 that were among the broadest of any Arab or Islamic nation. However, while the new constitution says that women are equal under the law, critics have condemned a provision that says no law can contradict the 'established rulings' of Islam as weakening women's rights."
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Burmanet » Daily Mail: Burma: Thousands dead in massacre of the monks dumped in the jungle
"Thousands of protesters are dead and the bodies of hundreds of executed monks have been dumped in the jungle, a former intelligence officer for Burma’s ruling junta has revealed.
The most senior official to defect so far, Hla Win, said: “Many more people have been killed in recent days than you’ve heard about. The bodies can be counted in several thousand.”
Mr Win, who spoke out as a Swedish diplomat predicted that the revolt has failed, said he fled when he was ordered to take part in a massacre of holy men. He has now reached the border with Thailand. Meanwhile, the United Nations special envoy was in Burma’s new capital today seeking meetings with the ruling military junta."
pay attention
"In August, when fallout from America’s popping housing bubble began to hit the market, trust in America cracked—and with it, so too did confidence in the global economic system.
Hamid Varzi, writing for the International Herald Tribune, summarized world opinion this way: “The U.S. economy, once the envy of the world, is now viewed across the globe with suspicion” (August 17).
He continued: “The ongoing subprime mortgage crisis … presages far deeper problems in a U.S. economy that is beginning to resemble a giant smoke-and-mirrors Ponzi scheme. And this has not been lost on the rest of the world.”
Trust in America is quickly disappearing. Why? Because America single-handedly brought the international financial system virtually to its knees by foisting off fraud-ridden subprime debt on an unsuspecting world, which resulted in the ensuing credit crunch."
....
So American banks sliced and bundled their subprime mortgages together into packages. Using complex computer models, and by geographically and otherwise diversifying the bundled mortgages, American banks convinced world-renowned and trusted American investment-rating agencies like Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s to give the mortgage securities higher valuations than regular subprimes would typically rate.
Later it became public knowledge that these same ratings agencies, which foreign investors were relying on for impartial advice, were being paid by the very banks and lenders that were bundling and selling the subprime mortgages—a huge conflict of interest that produced some terribly misleading data for foreign investors.
It has also emerged, at least in Moody’s case, that the agency knew for years that the mortgages securities they rated as safe were more than 10 times as risky as other similarly rated bonds (Daily Reckoning, September 3).
New Music
Annie Lennox Lyrics – Dark Road Lyrics
It’s a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
That you’re never gonna find me there, oh no
I’ve got an open door
It didn’t get there by itself
It didn’t get there by itself…
There’s a feelin’
But you’re not feelin’ it at all
There’s a meaning
But you’re not listening any more
I look at that open road
I’m gonna walk there by myself…
Uuhhhh
And if you catch me I might try to run away
You know I can’t be there too long
And if you let me I might try to make you stay
Seems you never realise a good thing till it’s gone…
Ohhh … uuhhh .. uhhhh
Maybe I’m still searchin’ but I don’t know what it means
All the fires of destruction are still burnin’ in my dreams
There’s no water that can wash away this longin’ to come clean…
Hey .. yeah .. yeah …
Ohh .. uhh … uhhh
I can’t find the joy within in my soul
It’s just sadness takin’ hold
I wanna come in from the cold
And make myself renewed again
It takes strength to live this way
The same old madness everyday
I wanna kick these blues away
I wanna learn to live again
Hey .. hey .. hey
Hey .. hey .. hey
It’s a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
That you’re never gonna find me there oh no
I’ve got an open door
It didn’t get there by itself… ooh
It didn’t get there by itself
————————————————–
Dark Road Lyrics - Annie Lennox Song Words
Study examines pregnant obese women - Yahoo! News
"Current recommendations developed by the Institute of Medicine in 1990 say women should gain at least 15 pounds during pregnancy, and the guidelines place no upper limit on pregnancy weight gain. The study found that women of different weights should gain or even lose different amounts of weight.
'The fear has been that not gaining weight would have a deleterious effect on the fetus,' said Dr. Raul Artal, study author and chairman of the department of obstetrics, gynecology and women's health at Saint Louis University School of Medicine.
'Not only were there no deleterious effects, but there are benefits. Women, by not gaining weight in pregnancy, reduce their risk of hypertensive disorder, have less C-sections and have babies of normal weight.' He added, 'The guidelines are outdated and we have to change them.'"
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Panic?
"Further demonstrating the absurdity of Ministry of Truth claims that inflation is contained around 2-3%, comes this look at the extreme blowback in commodity prices in the month of September. I am almost alone in using the term crack up boom (* see footnote for the Von Mises description) , and I suppose it’s all semantics, but I truly now believe the burden is on the Orwellians to prove otherwise. Is a 8% one month increase in the CRB index a crack up boom? I’d say so.
Sept. 28 (Bloomberg) – Commodities had the biggest monthly gain in 32 years, led by wheat, crude oil and gold, as the dollar’s slump enhanced the appeal of energy, grains and precious metals as a hedge against inflation. The 19-commodity Reuters/Jefferies CRB Index was up 8.1 percent this month, the most since July 1975."
No conflict of interest here!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Gracie Jiu-Jitsu
Those of you know me, I'm not a real hugger. I mean if I have known you for years, I can hug it out with the best of them, but that whole social "hi" hug thing that people are wont to do? Hell no. Back up bitches. There are all sorts of reasons for this, some benign, but some reasons are true malignancies. Thus, given that my life goal is to live fully present, mindful and unafraid as consistently as possible, it became clear to me that this fear would need to be addressed. Enter Gracie Jiu-Jitsu.
Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is essentially learning how to street fight in a safe environment and I stress safe. I've only had three classes, but given that we are practicing choke holds and submission poses and I haven't freaked out, the level of safe this place achieves is amazing to me. That said, today we did choke holds and it was uncomfortable. It is disconcerting to be thinking in terms of protecting your throat and keeping your hands up in front of your face etc. It is more than disconcerting really. I knew I was afraid of physical confrontation. I can't even watch realistic scenes of violence on television or in movies. Even knowing that did not prepare me for the overwhelming sensation of "I don't want to know this" that happens when someone is lightly choking me. Seriously, it must be some sort of significant human defect to essentially feel more comfortable with the idea of getting attacked and getting knocked out or killed, than deal personally with the violent aggression necessary to defend oneself. And anyone who has seen me drive knows I do not lack aggression!
So I suck at it, but I'm going to keep going and I am going to hope that is the right thing and what I learn really does help me achieve my goal.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
AlterNet: Sex and Relationships: Pornography and the End of Masculinity
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
good to know
In truth, there's no connection between the results you achieve at work (or in sports) and your quality as a human being. This simple but profound insight can free you to be a more natural and mentally tough performer in all aspects of your life. The reason is that if you link mistakes to who you are as a person, you'll exaggerate the emotional responses of your actions.
Either consciously or subconsciously, your emotions lead you to think that if you perform poorly you did something wrong -- or worse, that you're a bad person. But just because things don't work out doesn't mean you've erred. You may have made the absolutely right decision and failed in the execution. Or maybe you selected the right course of action and did everything you were supposed to do, but your competitor got lucky.
It's equally important to know that just because something worked out well doesn't mean you did something right or were thinking correctly. You may have made the wrong decisions and just got a lucky break. If it worked this time, don't count on it happening again, especially when the stakes are high.
Monday, September 17, 2007
How this 12inch miracle tube could halve heating bills | the Mail on Sunday
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Are you artistic or logic - Maybe both... : All My Faves | Blog
"Look at the dancer below. What do you see? Is she turning clockwise or counter-clockwise? You just can’t help but love these optical illusions."
Joseph Tainter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"For example, as Roman agricultural output slowly declined and population increased, per-capita energy availability dropped. The Romans 'solved' this problem by conquering their neighbours to appropriate their energy surpluses (metals, grain, slaves, etc). However, as the Empire grew, the cost of maintaining communications, garrisons, civil government, etc. grew with it. Eventually, this cost grew so great that any new challenges such as invasions and crop failures could not be solved by the acquisition of more territory. At that point, the empire fragmented into smaller units.
We often assume that the collapse of the Roman Empire was a catastrophe for everyone involved. Tainter points out that it can be seen as a very rational preference of individuals at the time, many of whom were actually better off (all but the elite, presumably). Archeological evidence from human bones indicates that average nutrition actually improved after the collapse in many parts of the former Roman Empire. Average individuals may have benefited because they no longer had to invest in the burdensome complexity of empire."
please tell me this is a joke?
"Rachel says she doesn’t have to choose between marriage and a career like other girls because being married is the only career she’s interested in. She’s ready to stand by her man and support him in every way possible. She has two dogs and two cats so her husband can’t be allergic."
Friday, September 14, 2007
Broadsheet: Women's Articles, Women's Stories, Women's Blog - Salon.com
"Apparently, the Inuit -- the 150,000 or so indigenous peoples that populate the northern regions of Russia, Canada and Greenland -- are giving birth to many more girls than boys. According to scientists from the Arctic Monitoring and Assessment Programme, some Inuit villages are producing twice as many girls as boys and, in one village studied, only girls have been born in recent years.
It's tempting to imagine global solutions to the sex imbalance such as arranged marriages between Indian boys (from girl-starved regions) and Inuit women, but the implications of this news are too harrowing for absurdist digressions. The baby-girl boom is being blamed on the high levels of estrogen-mimicking, man-made chemicals in Inuit mothers' blood. Scientists found that the higher the amount of chemicals such as PCBs, flame retardants and DDT in an Inuit woman's blood, the fewer boys she gave birth to, suggesting that hormone-mimicking chemicals are triggering sex changes during the first three weeks of pregnancy. It was also discovered that boys who are born in Russian Arctic villages suffer from being underweight and premature."
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Greenspan concedes mortgage dilemma - Yahoo! News
"Some blamed Greenspan's interest rate policies for feeding the housing frenzy. Sales had hit record highs and house prices galloped from 2001 to 2005. Then the market fell into a deep slump. The Greenspan Fed from early 2001 to the summer of 2003 had slashed interest rates to their lowest level in decades.
It was done to rescue the economy from the blows of the bursting of the stock market bubble, the 2001 recession, the terror attacks and a wave of accounting scandals that shook Wall Street. Critics say the Fed kept rates too low level for too long, encouraging a Wild West mentality in housing.
Greenspan, however, defended the institution's actions. 'They are mistaken,' he said of the critics. 'It was our job to unfreeze the American banking system if we wanted the economy to function. This required that we keep rates modestly low,' he said."