"I actually have no idea what on earth this is. I just love its product description: 'Are you drowning in the sea of comprehensive sex ed? Are you searching for a life preserver? You'll find one in the Abstinence Survival Kit!'
To answer the question that you already answered for me, yes, I do feel like I'm drowning in a sea of comprehensive sex ed. It's everywhere- everywhere, I tell you!
The store also includes great links to 'abstinence bookmarks, buttons, carabiners, posters, mints, stickers, pens, pencils, neck cords,and `virginity vouchers.''
But none are so truly abstinence-tastic as the following:
The Abstinence Sucker.
They make an abstinence sucker.
Not a lollipop. A sucker.
Alas, the sucker is cherry-flavored.
I thought for a long time about a suitable response to this. A long, long time.
So many ideas filled my head that my brain shut down and I fainted from overload.
When a member of the Abstinence Clearinghouse/ NSA joint division (who had been listening through the phone I left on) noticed a lack of typing noises, he came to investigate and found me face down on my keyboard.
After reading the contents of my computer screen, the officer left me unconscious and taped to my computer screen twenty dollars with a note reading, 'Such a pure, moral, Good Girl as yourself has lots to be proud of. I don't know how you ended up on our list of uppity women terrorists, but we just kinda put everyone's name in there. I'd like to provide the first twenty dollars toward your efforts.'
So come on, ya'll. Step up! Only $1,321.77 to go!"
No comments:
Post a Comment